i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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