Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
