Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
