I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
birth control should be required to get into college
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
