I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
