White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Randomize
