So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
