was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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