i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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