Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize