my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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