How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
