all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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