I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Princesses don't give blow jobs
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just want to make out with him forever
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
