Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
