In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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