Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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