i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
