i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
