My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
