No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
