Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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