You just made me feel so damn special
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
