i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
