What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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