Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
