so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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