Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
