At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He shit in the fireplace
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
