the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
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do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
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I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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