i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you told grandpa to call you daddy
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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