Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
