we have officially lost it.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Can you bring me the toilet please
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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