i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
