who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
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