she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
