What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
