Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
