It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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