Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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