i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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