Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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