FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
