i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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