hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
