so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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