What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
