ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
