Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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