I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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