She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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