I just made out with a guy for $7.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I need water and some morals
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
