Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize