she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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