Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
