You're my little dorito
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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