so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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