So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
someone owes me an orgasm
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
organizing the empties. That sober.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
