sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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