Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
