11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
