My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
