I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
