he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
