it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
